There were two men in a building site.
One of them said "Can you help me find my ear"
The other one, holding up an ear, asked "Is this it"
"No” replied the first one, “mine has a pencil behind it"
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
Wednesday, 13 July 2011
Chihuahua
A woman walks into a bar with her 5-pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this
guy, whom she notices is looking a little bit queasy.
A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and suddenly throws up.
He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I
don't remember eating that!"
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
guy, whom she notices is looking a little bit queasy.
A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and suddenly throws up.
He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I
don't remember eating that!"
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
No Lion
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe
drinks so much it passes out on the floor.
The man gets up and heads for the door to leave when the bartender yells, "Hey! You
can't leave that lyin' there!"
The drunk replies, "That's not a lion! That's a giraffe."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
drinks so much it passes out on the floor.
The man gets up and heads for the door to leave when the bartender yells, "Hey! You
can't leave that lyin' there!"
The drunk replies, "That's not a lion! That's a giraffe."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
Sally's Legs
There was this guy whose favorite bar was called 'Sally's Legs'. The bar was closed, so
he waited outside for it to open.
He was waiting a long time and a cop got suspicious, came over to him, and asked,
"What are you doing?" The guy replies, "I'm waiting for 'Sally's Legs' to open so I can
get a drink."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
he waited outside for it to open.
He was waiting a long time and a cop got suspicious, came over to him, and asked,
"What are you doing?" The guy replies, "I'm waiting for 'Sally's Legs' to open so I can
get a drink."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
Toilet Paper
This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sexy
seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?"
He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't
know if you’re the man to talk to...its kind of personal..."
Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem,
miss."
She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he
begins sucking them, thinking "I'm in!!!"
She goes, "Can you tell the manager something for me?"
The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?"
He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't
know if you’re the man to talk to...its kind of personal..."
Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem,
miss."
She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he
begins sucking them, thinking "I'm in!!!"
She goes, "Can you tell the manager something for me?"
The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
Cane and Alligator
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says
"Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!"
So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..."
The bartender says "Well then, let’s see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it
in the gator’s mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head
with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick
without a single scratch.
He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?"
An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
"Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!"
So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..."
The bartender says "Well then, let’s see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it
in the gator’s mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head
with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick
without a single scratch.
He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?"
An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
Save The Drink
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can.
He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this
beer, do not drink!"
After a few minutes he returns and there’s another sign next to his beer saying, "So
did I!"
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this
beer, do not drink!"
After a few minutes he returns and there’s another sign next to his beer saying, "So
did I!"
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
Plastic Surgery
A woman tells her husband that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her
breasts.
Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it
without surgery."
The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
"Just rub toilet paper between them."
Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"
"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
breasts.
Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it
without surgery."
The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
"Just rub toilet paper between them."
Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"
"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
The Customer
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on
the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and orders another
double martini. After he finishes that one, he peeks inside his shirt pocket again and
orders yet another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta
tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look
good, I know it's time to go home."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and orders another
double martini. After he finishes that one, he peeks inside his shirt pocket again and
orders yet another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta
tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look
good, I know it's time to go home."
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
Changing a Light Bulb
Q: How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
A: Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.
If You Like The Joke, Kindly, Like and Share With Your Friends.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)